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popslash_lollipops2005-11-05 08:52 pm
lincolnkw.livejournal.com) wrote in popslash_lollipops2005-11-05 08:52 pm
Entry tags:
Chris/???
I have a need to read something...crackficcy, I guess.
It all started with the Closer To Heaven cast album. There is a song on there called "It's Just My Little Tribute to Caligula, Darling!".
Then the image of Chris in a toga and wearing a laurel appeared in my mind, with him saying that line.
Do with it what you will.
the lyrics, if you're interested.
Do you like my new look?
It's very classical don't you think?
It's just my little tribute to Caligula, darling!
Haven't you seen the movie?
It's a masterpiece.
All that history of sex. I love it.
Caligula was a bastard like most important men.
And over the years I've known quite a few of them I wish I'd poisoned.
As my little tribute to Caligula, darling!
It's just my little tribute to Caligula, darling!
He was a roman emporer which makes him almost certanly bisexual,
If not actually gay.
But then so many men are that way inclined, don't you find?
I mean can you believe it, he's straight?
It's just my little tribute to Caligula, darling!
Murder and mayhem in the eternal city.
Poison and torture he knew no pity.
Pain is always best inflicted at home.
Down in your dungeon lie back and think of Rome.
It's just my little tribute to Caligula, darling!
Spoken words over a techno track. You know, JC should really do some work with the Pet Shop Boys.
It all started with the Closer To Heaven cast album. There is a song on there called "It's Just My Little Tribute to Caligula, Darling!".
Then the image of Chris in a toga and wearing a laurel appeared in my mind, with him saying that line.
Do with it what you will.
the lyrics, if you're interested.
Do you like my new look?
It's very classical don't you think?
It's just my little tribute to Caligula, darling!
Haven't you seen the movie?
It's a masterpiece.
All that history of sex. I love it.
Caligula was a bastard like most important men.
And over the years I've known quite a few of them I wish I'd poisoned.
As my little tribute to Caligula, darling!
It's just my little tribute to Caligula, darling!
He was a roman emporer which makes him almost certanly bisexual,
If not actually gay.
But then so many men are that way inclined, don't you find?
I mean can you believe it, he's straight?
It's just my little tribute to Caligula, darling!
Murder and mayhem in the eternal city.
Poison and torture he knew no pity.
Pain is always best inflicted at home.
Down in your dungeon lie back and think of Rome.
It's just my little tribute to Caligula, darling!
Spoken words over a techno track. You know, JC should really do some work with the Pet Shop Boys.
no subject
Good request!
no subject
Lance walked into the living room, glanced at Chris and walked right back out. Once he was safely back in the kitchen he cracked open a beer and picked up the phone.
“I’m sure there’s a logical explanation. Wait, never mind. Ok, so Chris is in a toga?”
“And a laurel wreath.”
“How long has he been drinking?”
“He hasn’t. Unless he’s keeping the stuff in the upstairs bathroom again.”
Lance thought about which bathroom he’d used earlier. Upstairs. Ok, definitely no drinking. “No, he’s sober.”
“Weed?”
“You know he hates that stuff. Makes him all snuggly. And he hasn’t touched anything else in ages, not after that time his mother found him in the pink thong,”
Joey howled with laughter. “That was classic!”
Lance joined him for a moment. “OK, Joe. My boyfriend is watching Sunday afternoon football in a toga and laurel wreath. I’m thinking there’s a joke to be had at my expense and I want to be prepared.”
“He didn’t say anything?”
“Joey, I’ve known him all my adult life and one thing I’ve learned is…”
“Keep the lube handy!” Joey howled again.
“Joey! ONCE! It was just once. And I seem to recall you were more than happy to run to the 24 hour store for me, just to shut me up.”
“Yeah, yeah. But did he say anything?”
“As I was trying to tell you. I’ve learned that practically the only way to survive one of Chris’ elaborate jokes is to not let him get in the first line. So, he may have wanted to, but I didn’t give him the chance,”
“Well, Lance my friend. I don’t have a clue, so I think you’re going to have to let the man speak.”
“You suck.”
“Ha, not since that one time at theater camp! Go talk to your man. I’ll call you in an hour to make sure you don’t need bail. Love you, baby.”
“Love your daughter, love your wife, you I’m not sure about.”
Joey laughed at him and hung up. Lance stood leaning against the kitchen island looking out over their backyard. He finished his beer in silence and rinsed it out, leaving it upended in the sink to drain. He still hadn’t come up with anything so he decided he would just ignore it.
Chris was still watching his game, sprawled in the corner of their oversized chair. Lance snagged his book off the table and crawled up next to him. Chris looked at him expectantly. Lance leaned over to kiss him and then concentrated on his reading. After reading the same page four times he finally got the hang of it and was actually fully into his story when Chris got up to get something to drink.
They stayed that way until Lance got up to make dinner. Neither of them mentioned Chris’ outfit and Lance quite happily snuck under it before their shower, holding on to Chris’ bare thighs as he licked along other bits of naked flesh.
Lance had his back to the room, scrambling eggs, when Chris snuck up and wrapped his arms around Lance’s waist.
“So, I was thinking. Since you were so generous last night, I thought I would return the favor. Keep cooking.”
Lance loved having sex in what he considered weird places and in Lance’s mind. Cooking his boyfriend eggs while said boyfriend rimmed him was up there on the list. The eggs got burned and it wasn’t until after he’d cooked the new ones that Lance realized Chris was again wearing the toga and laurels. How did he get hooked up with such a nut?
Chris didn’t say anything until lunch and then he simply gestured to his attire and raised an eyebrow. Lance slithered out of his pants and straddled Chris’s lap, ending the possibility for any conversation. After a nice nap Lance closed himself in his office to get some work done.
Chris managed to ask Lance out to a movie that night and Lance almost agreed until he realized Chris was only trying to goad him into asking him to change. Lance quickly decided they should have a MIB viewing. Chris, well aware how they both felt about Will Smith and still not comfortable enough to share that he felt nearly the same way about Tommy Lee Jones, agreed.
By the time Will and Tommy had found Orion’s Belt, Lance was approaching his second orgasm.
part the second
“Ok, I’m starting to think he’s got some weird fetish thing now. We had sex in the shower and he got out and put it on! It hasn’t been washed in days. “
“I don’t know what to tell you Lance. You’ve always known he was a bit unbalanced. Maybe it’s all just catching up with him now. Kinda’ like accumulative Alzheimer’s or something?”
“He’s 36 Joey, not 80. Besides, he’s fixated, not forgetful. And there’s been a lot of sex.”
“I’m pretty sure lots of sex is not something you shouldn’t be complaining about, partner.”
“I’m not complaining, but. We haven’t been this, active, since we first got together. It’s great and I’m loving it, really, but. I don’t know how long I can keep this up.”
Lance put so much emphasis on the word ‘I’ Joey couldn’t help but laugh.
“He’s wearing you out!?”
“I don’t know why I talk to you. Kiss your wife and my goddaughter and then tell them to find a better man.”
“Love you, too, baby.”
Joey was still laughing when Lance hung up.
It was Lance’s ‘cleaning’ day, so he cleaned. New sheets on all the beds, used in the last week or not. Vacuum the rooms with rugs, sweep those without. He took his customary break in the sunroom. He loved to sit in all the diffused sunlight and just rest. Chris often came in to join him and today was no exception.
Chris flounced in, bruised laurels tilted at a strange angle. Lance ignored him until Chris settled in behind him and pulled him close. The toga was starting to smell and Lance suddenly had an idea how to get it washed without actually mentioning it. He ran his hands up the legs that sat in either side of him.
An hour later he was humming as he poured detergent in on top of the toga. He closed the door and leaned up against the washer as it started its cycle, oblivious to the cold metal pressed against his naked skin. He was starting to feel a little giddy. He hadn’t lied when he’d told Joe they were making like newlyweds. Their love life lacked nothing as far as he was concerned but this was. Well. It was great. He felt sexy and heady and very very desired. Above all that, he had all of Chris’s attention and it had been a while since he’d felt that.
part the last. I think. yep, last.
“Yes, my Adonis?” Chris was as naked as Lance was.
Lance leaned forward and drew him close. “Ever done it on a washing machine?”
“Why Lance! You dirty man!”
Chris dug the toga out of the dryer to wear while Lance slept.
Lance suffered through Chris poking him all through a new episode of Criminal Minds, but turned and pounced on him as soon as the credit began to roll. He was pretty sure he was going to injure himself soon, but he was having so much fun he no longer cared. They fell asleep on the couch.
Chris woke Lance up in bed, toga on and very wilted laurels in place. Lance looked at him, thought about how much he wanted him, even as his body screamed in protest. He flopped back on the bed and sighed.
“What’s with the get-up Chris?”
Chris stood for a moment, stunned. Then, throwing his arms wide sang. “It’s just my little tribute to Caligula, darling!”
Lance propped himself up on his elbows and stared. “A porno!? You wore that damn toga all week so you could sing one line about a porno? “
“It’s a classic! Besides, I had no idea you’d be so turned on by it!”
“You tricked me into becoming Caligula: The Home Version!”
Chris cocked his head and flashed Lance.
“Ok, ok. I’m not complaining. But why?”
“Do I need an excuse to horn dog on my boyfriend?”
Lance thought about the last week and the stirring in his senses, even now.
And pounced.
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Your icon? ok, seriuously. that's just. Bwahahahhahahhahahahahhahahahah!
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Hee. It comes in handy, once in a while.
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This was wonderfully strange up until that last bit where I started to laugh and choked on my breakfast. Of eggs.
Loved the phone calls betweeen Lance and Joey, and the mysteriously quiet Chris.
HEE! Thank you!
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Your icon is hysterical.
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Bravo. Well done, my friend. I enjoyed this so much.
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All the sex and the toga and especially the phone calls to Joey which cracked me up. Like this line.
“I don’t know what to tell you Lance. You’ve always known he was a bit unbalanced. Maybe it’s all just catching up with him now. Kinda’ like accumulative Alzheimer’s or something?”
Loved it!
Oh, how could I forget, the rimming while making eggs. Just guh!
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I'm glad you enjoyed it. The phone calls to Joey were fun and much like I imagine their actual conversations might go if Lance were involved in a giant boinkfest with Chris.
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Wheee, this was so much fun!! Silent Chris and the phonecalls to Joey and the rimming at breakfast and the vilting laurels and... Wheeeee again!!!
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