As usual, slight variation on the request, in that your line appears in the middle instead.
He was beginning to get a queasy feeling, doubt and worry tightening in his belly, that hadn't been there when they started doing this. Then it had been all sunshine and confidence, they were going to go somewhere with this, they would be fantastic and famous and rich... and now, the certainty was leaking away and he was starting not to believe it any more.
Worst thing was, it was all his fault.
The guy was his friend, a good friend, but... he didn't have the same fire that was inside Chris, the absolute determination to do anything, everything. He wasn't focused like Justin, with his goal engraved on his heart and willing to give two hundred percent to make sure he achieved it. He didn't have JC's raw, beautiful talent—well, who did, but the rest of them were willing to work as hard as it took to make up for that. Joey knew his own strengths, and he thought he knew his own weaknesses, too, because you had to recognize them if you were going to make it in spite of them. And Joey was going to compensate for not being pretty, by being everything else. He'd never been one to hold back, he always put himself into what he was doing, heart and soul, and he was doing that now. The four of them had got it, they'd got what it took to go all the way, and they'd do it, they could do anything, given a handful of luck to go with all the talent and effort they had between them.
But there were five of them. And the fifth... He was good-looking, and talented, and keen. He just wasn't willing to do what it took.
He was always the one to call it a day. Always the one who said, "That's good enough for now," when Joey knew, he knew, that they could do more. That JC wanted to get it perfect, that Justin would rather work till he dropped than leave anything undone that might in some tiny way bring him closer to his goal, that Chris never thought anything was 'enough', and that he himself wanted to be stone-cold certain that he, they, never went on stage being less than completely sure of what they were doing.
Five people, two attitudes. It wasn't going to work. And it was Joey's fault, because he was the one who'd brought Jason along, he was the one who'd been too stupid to realize that being a nice guy was not enough. There had to be five of them, they needed Jason, needed his voice, needed to make this work. Except that Jason wasn't right. Joey knew it, and the knowledge made his stomach hurt, because it was down to him to put things right, and he didn't know how.
It was almost a relief when someone finally said something.
![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png){kind=small}
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
Almost a relief
Date: 2006-10-01 12:29 pm (UTC)He was beginning to get a queasy feeling, doubt and worry tightening in his belly, that hadn't been there when they started doing this. Then it had been all sunshine and confidence, they were going to go somewhere with this, they would be fantastic and famous and rich... and now, the certainty was leaking away and he was starting not to believe it any more.
Worst thing was, it was all his fault.
The guy was his friend, a good friend, but... he didn't have the same fire that was inside Chris, the absolute determination to do anything, everything. He wasn't focused like Justin, with his goal engraved on his heart and willing to give two hundred percent to make sure he achieved it. He didn't have JC's raw, beautiful talent—well, who did, but the rest of them were willing to work as hard as it took to make up for that. Joey knew his own strengths, and he thought he knew his own weaknesses, too, because you had to recognize them if you were going to make it in spite of them. And Joey was going to compensate for not being pretty, by being everything else. He'd never been one to hold back, he always put himself into what he was doing, heart and soul, and he was doing that now. The four of them had got it, they'd got what it took to go all the way, and they'd do it, they could do anything, given a handful of luck to go with all the talent and effort they had between them.
But there were five of them. And the fifth... He was good-looking, and talented, and keen. He just wasn't willing to do what it took.
He was always the one to call it a day. Always the one who said, "That's good enough for now," when Joey knew, he knew, that they could do more. That JC wanted to get it perfect, that Justin would rather work till he dropped than leave anything undone that might in some tiny way bring him closer to his goal, that Chris never thought anything was 'enough', and that he himself wanted to be stone-cold certain that he, they, never went on stage being less than completely sure of what they were doing.
Five people, two attitudes. It wasn't going to work. And it was Joey's fault, because he was the one who'd brought Jason along, he was the one who'd been too stupid to realize that being a nice guy was not enough. There had to be five of them, they needed Jason, needed his voice, needed to make this work. Except that Jason wasn't right. Joey knew it, and the knowledge made his stomach hurt, because it was down to him to put things right, and he didn't know how.
It was almost a relief when someone finally said something.