(no subject)

[silentj.livejournal.com]

Some Germany era trickyfish whereas Lance has age issues.

Whereas Lance thinks because he's so much younger than Chis that he won't want him.

Whereas, yes, I mean Lance.

Thank you. ;P

Comments

not sure that it's what you asked for, but I hope it's somethng.

[ephemera.livejournal.com]

It's kind of embarrassing to have to be told. Definitely it's embarrassing that your friends have noticed you being freaking obvious and pathetically smitten with someone who keeps not noticing himself, but you're just a little too buzzed to be sure if it's more or less embarrassing than that for Joey to take it upon himself to explain what's going on. Because he totally noticed – he noticed weeks ago and he's been teasing you about it every time you left the kids back in whatever dive hotel rooms you're sharing that night and the three of you go out to find some distraction with your tiny per dium and your phrasebook.

JC's been sweet as silk about everything – the odd commiserating look when you do something particularly dumb and obvious – like, say, throwing yourself full length next to him on the stage and saying telling him that he's the sexiest guy in the group, and that the photographer's a pissy bitch. Justin and Joey had both thrown water bottles at you for saying it, but it's true. Lance is totally the sexiest boy in the group, the room, and very possibly the whole of Europe. He's also smart and sly and talented and brave and has a voice like stroking velvet and oh sweet Jesus you've got it bad.

You've got it bad, and you're in a beer garden, huddled together under thin jackets 'cos its gotten cold since the sun went down, and JC's doodling on a beer mat and Joey's slouching to lean his head on your shoulder and trying to explain why his best friend is being wilfully oblivious to your very obvious charms and affections.

Apparently it's not that he's shy, and he doesn’t hate you, and he does like guys, and he has noticed. You might have snorted a little at that, because you've made as sure as you can that he has to have noticed, even if that meant everyone else around you did too. You’ve done everything short of just pinning him down and forcing yourself on him, which you wouldn’t do, 'cos it's not just lust, you fear it might be love. So he's noticed, and it's definitely embarrassing the way your breathing speeds up when Joey mumbles about late night conversations and confessions and that he shouldn’t be saying but he can't stand to see you so down, and it seems like maybe he's going to give you an answer.

Only it's a shit answer. A totally crappy, unfair, unreasonable piece of shit answer, and all the reasons you just gave yourself for why you were sitting there drinking down Joey's words like nectar from the freaking gods are pretty crappy too, and maybe Joe got the wrong end of the stick, because otherwise life just isn’t fucking fair. Which you know. But you were hoping that maybe with Lou and the band and Germany and everything else your luck might have changed.

Too old. Too young. Either way too much gap, and Lance thinks it'd be weird, and that in the end you'd think less of him for being a kid, for being shy, for being a virgin and not wanting to get into anything serious until he's had time to figure out what he likes, what he wants with a few people who don't matter so much.

In the morning you might be able to take comfort from the idea that you matter too much, but right now you're sitting there with your mouth open and your head spinning, with Joey's head heavy and apologetic on your shoulder and JC's hand creeping over to stroke the back of yours, because it's just not fair that it's something you can't change.

Re: not sure that it's what you asked for, but I hope it's somethng.

[silentj.livejournal.com]

You can't go wrong with angst. I luff it verry much. Thank you! I was beginning to think no one would get to it.

Re: not sure that it's what you asked for, but I hope it's somethng.

[ephemera.livejournal.com]

I'm glad you like ;)

Re: not sure that it's what you asked for, but I hope it's somethng.

[adelate]

Randomly, we iconed the same picture. :)

Re: not sure that it's what you asked for, but I hope it's somethng.

[turps33.livejournal.com]

You wrote popslash, and so well too!

I ache for Chris, the knowledge that he's too important to Lance is such a huge blow, and the fact there's nothing he can do about it a double hurt.

That last paragraph killed me. I'm glad they're there for him, but wish they didn't have to be so much :(

It was fantastic, you're fantastic.

Re: not sure that it's what you asked for, but I hope it's somethng.

[ephemera.livejournal.com]

*blush* - thank you!

[http://users.livejournal.com/_bettina_/]

I've been thinking about your request for a long time and today I finally wrote something just to come back and see that you already got a ficlet. But well, since it's already written, and different from the other one, I decided to post it anyway. Hope you like it.

~~~

"What's wrong?"

Lance shrugged and buried himself deeper under the blankets. "Nothing," he mumbled, "just tired."

There was a long silence and he imagined Chris standing there, watching him with concerned eyes and frowning, while he made up his mind what to do. Chris was probably the biggest mother hen he knew, not counting his mother of course, and he was always worrying and trying to fix things.

"Okay," Chris finally said and Lance was both surprised and relieved that Chris didn't try to get to the root of the 'problem.'

"But," Chris started again, "I hope you know you can always come and talk to me, right?"

Lance nodded. "I know. Thanks," he added, because he did know that, but how could he talk to Chris, when Chris was the reason why he had been in a mood for the past few weeks.

Chris finally left the room, not without hesitating at the door for a couple seconds, and Lance turned on his back, staring at the ceiling.

His life sucked, he decided after trying to count the black dots in one corner of the ceiling for the third time. There was no way around that he had a thing for Chris almost from the start. And usually he would have tried to just go and get the boy, especially since Chris didn't seem to be a stranger to boy/boy stuff, but, and that was the big issue for Lance, Chris was so much older than him.

He wasn't really the one with the problem about Chris being older. In fact, it would be quite cool to have an older boyfriend, but for obvious reasons, at least in his mind, Chris would never want a guy who was so much younger than him.

It was just like in high school. It'd be cool to have a boyfriend, who was in college, but what college guy would want a boyfriend still in high school?

Lance gritted his teeth and turned again on the bed, facing the stained hotel wall. It sucked to be young, it sucked even more that he had to share a room with his big crush. And it sucked that he lay here alone wallowing in self-pity. He punched the pillow under his head to make it more comfortable and closed his eyes, trying to sleep.

It must have worked, because the next thing he knew was the sound of a softly closing door. Chris, Lance thought, but instead of the noises of his roommate getting ready for bed there was nothing.

He had the distinct feeling of being watched, but he didn't dare to open his eyes. This must be what the spidey-senses felt like for Spiderman, his skin all tingly and feeling hot and cold at the same time. And then, all of a sudden something - someone - was touching his cheek.

For a second he thought he had imagined it, but then it happened again. Just a featherlike touch, a tickling sensation. It trailed down his cheek over his jaw line and when it reached his lips he couldn't help, but open his eyes... and there was Chris.

[silentj.livejournal.com]

Perfect thank you very much. Two versions one fic fantasy. How cool is that? XD The spidey-sense part made me laugh. When I was thinking about it inda had the whole high school college thing in the back of my mind. Thank you much. :)

[http://users.livejournal.com/_bettina_/]

I'm glad you liked it :-).